Came over and was all in my arms saying I don't want to loose you and I love you so much. I'm such an asshole. Like really, he thinks he is for leading me on but I'm an ass for letting myself think I was actually ready to date.
I don't think I ever will be. I love him too much and this weird relationship is never going to end until one of us decides we can see each other anymore. I won't let that happen. I rather love and lose than never love at all. I wish he would see that and feel the same. I don't want to go the rest of my life wondering what could have been between us, that's why I want us to date officially and that's why I think we should. I understand why he thinks we shouldn't but at the same time at the end of the day which option really works better? Most people would pick the relationship because you need to try something before you know it doesn't work. And even after it doesn't seem to work you can still fix it or work on it to make improvements. A relationship is only as strong or good as the people involved in it. You have to make the effort to make things work, you have to make the choice to be there and you need to want it.
I want it. I will put in the effort and I am making that choice to be there. For as long as it take until he realizes I'm not like any other girls and most importantly we are not going to end up like him and his ex. I know we can do this.
